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Fighting for Serenity with Softness

The last two weeks have felt like a rollercoaster ride. That’s not an uncommon phenomenon for me, but for some reason, it has felt wilder than before. In all the ups and downs of my business, riding, and life, I struggled to find the serenity I so desperately craved. My head was spinning with overwhelm and my breathing became shallow and tense. My excitement turned into fear and my vision for the future was clouded with a fog. What was this about then this time around?

serenity_and_softness

Photo by Griffin Keller on Unsplash

I kept trying to force the serenity out of me and I kept getting more and more frustrated with my overwhelm. Impatience and anger came into my life, and I felt like I should be doing better than this by now. I kept trying to fight my overwhelm and push through my never-ending to-do lists. Until it hit me.

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed right now. It’s ok to feel burdened. It’s ok to feel stressed. Even in a time like this when a lot of amazing things are happening in my life.

Yes, it’s amazing I have met the love of my life and it’s incredible to be planning our wedding for next year. I’m ecstatic about the fact that I’m about to finish my second book and that I already have ideas for the next three books. It’s amazing that I get to be the full-time Happyologist and it’s amazing that I get to help people to live more fulfilling lives.

It’s amazing that we have a new holiday home to furnish and enjoy. The fact that we’re researching options for a new car is exciting. I’m blessed to have a spirited, talented horse to compete and it’s amazing we’re about to go up another level.

But – all of this amazingness doesn’t mean that it has to feel easy. It doesn’t mean you have to put on a brave face and say it’s all effortless and fun. It doesn’t mean you have to be strong and do it all on your own.

Of course, I feel incredibly grateful and blessed that all these amazing things are happening in my life. At the same time, I also feel overwhelmed with all the different things I’m trying to manage and achieve. No, I wouldn’t have it any other way. But yes, I could be a little bit kinder to myself right now.

I realised that getting back to my serenity wasn’t about getting everything done. Instead, it was about surrendering to my softness and acknowledging that things felt a bit hard. Funnily enough, the second I did this, I felt like I could breathe again. The weight lifted off my shoulders and my head became clear again. Focusing became easier and serenity quickly followed. It seemed so easy and simple once it was there again.

So, next time I feel overwhelmed, these are the things I’m going to say to myself to bring my serenity back in. I encourage you to try them too:

1. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed.

Simply acknowledging it makes you feel less of it. Fighting it is what makes it worse.

2. Things you are excited about don’t have to be easy.

Especially if they all happen to be at the same time! There will be easy, fun moments but there will also be challenging moments. That is ok. That is a part of the journey.

3. There is strength in surrendering.

Surrendering to the fact that you can’t do it all. That you need help. That you need a breather. Acknowledging this and taking a pause is what makes you strong.

4. Be soft and be kind.

Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend who was going through the same overwhelm. Give yourself the compassion and kindness you would give to them. Be soft, not hard. Be gentle, not forceful. Show patience towards yourself.

5. You are doing the best you can with the knowledge you have.

Always remember that.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. What are your top tips for overcoming your overwhelm? Comment below with your insights and inspire the rest of the readers!

With that, I wish you good luck in your adventures and until next time!

Sending you love, light and serenity,

x Susanna


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4 Comments

  • Janet Maurice says:

    You are just right about surrendering. It somehow recalibrates your mind and gives breathing space. I’m a great believer in trying to live in the moment sometimes. The motto is ‘be more dog’ because that is what dogs do. Planning and lists are great but don’t forget to stop, surrender to the moment and look at the landscape or stars.

  • Kyle Reissner says:

    Great post! My wife and I constantly have too many plates spinning at work and at home and get overwhelmed. We try and remind ourselves that things will drop and its ok for things to drop…but it’s hard to let them actually drop!

    The 5 points are great at resetting. Thanks for this post and keep sharing!

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