“I do”, I heard myself say. The official vows followed with the exchange of the rings. I knew this was the start of a new chapter – of our new chapter – and I was over the moon with joy and delight.
Three weeks ago I married the man I love with every cell in my body and every inch of my soul. It was pure magic. The whole wedding weekend we had organised for our closest family and friends was pure bliss from the moment it began to the moment it wrapped up. I am still floating from it.
I knew a new chapter had begun. And I knew it would be a good one. But, still, I wasn’t just going to sit around and wait for it to be a good one. I was going to do everything in my power to make it an exceptional one.
My husband (yey I can call him that now!!!) likes to say, “Everything you’ve ever done has prepared you for exactly this moment here.” I couldn’t agree with him more. Hence, in order to prepare me (and us) for this new chapter, I decided to write down the most important and valuable lessons I have learned, through the years, about love.
This is a lesson that came up in my gorgeous Maid of Honour’s, Hanna’s, speech and it’s one I feel incredibly strongly about. I believe one of the most important foundations of any relationship, be it to your partner, child, parent, friend or sibling, is encouraging and supporting them in their dreams. You don’t need to like them. You don’t even need to understand them. All you need to do is to understand that it’s what makes your partner (or child, sibling, parent or friend) happy. If it makes them happy and lights them up like nothing else, it’s your duty to be happy for them and do everything in your power to help them on their journey.
I don’t understand why my husband does open water marathon swims and swims the Gibraltar Strait from Europe to Africa in a water where killer whales hang. In fact, I worry about him when he does it, not because I don’t think he can do it but because I love him and I don’t want him to get hurt. But, because he loves swimming and he loves his swimming challenges, I support him 100% in them. I encourage him to set new challenges and I do anything I can to support him in them.
Equally, he doesn’t understand why I get on a spirited, 650kg animal with a mind of its own to do “horse ballet”. He wouldn’t do it himself (at least not yet ;) and he also worries about me getting hurt. Falling off horses and getting lots of black toes from their accidental side steps is a part of the sport. Despite all that, he is my biggest supporter and fan. He knows it’s like oxygen to me and he’s always encouraging me to do more of it. In fact, when I’ve had difficult moments with my horse and phases when I’ve been thrown off many times in a week, he has said, “You can do it. Get back on.” It’s moments like those that made me realise he was the man for me.
Because that’s what real love is. Supporting and encouraging unconditionally because you want your loved one to be happy.
You know what makes you happy – both individually and collectively. So just do that. And ignore everything else.
Do you want to get married in France? Do it (we did!). Want to have a small wedding? Do it (we did!). Want to have an unplugged wedding? Do it (we did and we highly recommend it. It was one of the best decisions we made about the wedding). Let your hearts beat so strongly for what you want that you don’t even hear the naysayers who try to stop you from doing what you know is right for you.
There are many moments from our wedding weekend that will stay with me forever. Amongst those moments are the ones where our biggest cheerleaders talked about their love, support and admiration for us. Stories about our unique personalities, speeches about our love, and loving words that showed how happy they were to see us so happy. These are the people to keep in your life. These are the people who you should surround yourself with. They love you individually and they love you as a couple because they can see how happy you are together.
No matter the relationship, there will be a time when things get a bit sticky. Challenges are a normal part of life and of relationships and that’s when it’s more important than ever to stick together as a team. Remember that together you are stronger and together you can take on the world. Work hard to understand each other’s perspectives and, most importantly, always respect each other.
If anyone ever dares to try to come in between that team you have built with your beloved, swiftly show them the door. If somebody speaks ill of your beloved or treats them with disrespect, stand up for them. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for each other.
I remember the day I met my husband. He was tall, handsome and confident. He didn’t hide his interest in me. I also remember when he sent me a message to invite me on our first date. In fact, I remember every single word (though I pertain the right to keep those private ;). I remember every moment of our first date – and all the others that followed. I love him for his fierce determination, moments of madness, and how deeply he loves. He is one of the strongest and also one of the most loving men I have ever met. Those are only a few of the reasons why I married him.
And I know he might change. Actually, I know he will change. As will I and as will you. Every single one of us does. We are human and we are forever evolving and changing, whether we like it or not. We can’t stop that from happening so we might as well embrace it. A part of that is also learning to love the change your loved one may go through, is going through, or already has gone through. If you truly love them, you will also learn to love their evolution and how it evolves your relationship with them. Love them through their change and trust the love that you have for each other. It will only grow deeper, stronger and more fulfilling with time.
Those are the tips I’m going to follow in this new chapter of love in my life. I hope you will consider using them in your life too and I hope they work as well as they have worked for us!
That’s it from me today and I hope the adventures you’re on are full of love!
Sending you light & love,
x Susanna :)
P.S. All this love in my life inspired me to put together a free 5-day e-course on self-love. It starts on June 11th so sign-up or find out more about it here.