If you’ve been following me for the last few weeks, you know I’ve been fighting my negativity more than usual. Four weeks ago, I struggled to put a positive spin on anything. Today, I’m happy to report I can yet again put a positive spin on almost anything. Finally, I’m starting to feel like myself again – and boy does it feel good!
As I reflect back on the last two months, I know I’ve been on an emotional roller-coaster. I also know there were three strategies that I stuck to that really helped me to get back to my happy self. Naturally, I want to share these strategies with you. Hopefully they help you to power up your positive spin too.
If you feel frustrated about your job, annoyed with your friend, or unhappy with your body, allow yourself to feel it. The worst thing you can do is to try to deny it, hide it, or suppress it. Doing that won’t solve it anyways but simply cover it up. This actually makes the negativity even more toxic within you. Instead of denying it, acknowledge the negative sensations you feel. The simple act of being honest about how you feel already gives the negativity less power over you.
Allowing yourself to feel what you feel also gives you guidance. These negative emotions you feel shine light on the fact that something isn’t right and that something needs to change. Sometimes it’s a big change like changing jobs. Other times it’s a smaller one like changing your perspective. Whatever the change might be, before the change you really need to simply allow yourself to feel. Feel without judgement, criticism or frustration. Simply feel and explore what these feelings are trying to tell you.
To give you an example, I felt my negativity rise later in the spring when I was pushing my body harder and harder. That’s when I realised my negativity was driven by lack of self love and by being overly critical of my body. I realised I didn’t need to change my body because it was healthy, but I did need to change how I thought about it. That’s why strategy two and three below were really helpful for me.
After you’ve acknowledged that something is making you experience negative emotions, it’s time to add a pinch of perspective. What is one good thing you can say about what is frustrating you today? Maybe you are frustrated with your job – but maybe you also have a fun colleague to hang out with. You might be annoyed with your friend – but she stills gives you unconditional love and incredible amounts of support. Or perhaps you are disappointed with your body not being like it used to be – but you’re healthy and full of energy.
As a bonus, you could start a note in your smartphone or a specific notebook for this. Then, every day, as you write one positive thing about the thing that is frustrating you, you are adding into your positivity bank. After a week or 10 days you might already have 7-10 things written down. Looking back on them every now and then will help bring more of that positive spin in.
Please note that you should only use this strategy after you’ve practiced the first one. Do not use this strategy to sugar coat what is frustrating you. or to try to kill the real, truthful negative emotions you are feeling. Instead, use it to bring some perspective in and balance out the negative with some positives. Don’t eliminate the negatives if you are feeling them, simply add more positives into the mix.
You might have heard me preach about this before and I will do it here again. Why? Because it’s so flipping powerful and works every time. Best of all, you don’t even need to direct that gratitude to the thing that is frustrating you if you don’t want to. You can simply direct that gratitude to other things in your life that you do feel genuine gratitude for. Bring an attitude of gratitude in, and over time you will start to see it spill over to even the most frustrating parts of your life.
For example, to practice gratitude in general, finish everyday by asking yourself: What are three specific things you were most grateful for in your day? If you want to make it specific to an area, like I did as I wanted to experience more self love for my body, I asked myself: What are three specific things I am most grateful for in my body today? Some days it was noticing my blue, sparkling eyes when I was putting mascara on. Other times it was feeling strong and confident when riding my horse Mickey. There are no rules here as long as you feel that genuine gratitude when you’re writing your daily gratitude list down.
These were the three strategies that really helped me to get back into my happy place and now my eye for bringing that positive spin in is also back.
What is your number one strategy for bringing more positivity in? Comment below with your practices to inspire the rest of the Happyologist community with your insights.
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That’s it from me today. I wish you good luck in your adventures & until next time!
Sending you love, light and happiness,
P.S. I still have a few openings for new coaching clients. Get in touch if you want to take one of the spots and get your positivity properly up!